Mother-morphosis :Dont run with those scissors!

Johannesburg, 4 May, 2010 - "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." Oscar Wilde was onto something when he wrote this in The Importance of Being Earnest. The tragedy strikes when women, after swearing never to, find themselves doing the kooky things they saw their moms do time and again. As a critical broker in key relationship moments such as Mother's Day, NetFlorist understands that becoming a carbon copy of your mother could leave you feeling a little unsettled.

Californian therapist and author Sandra Reishus points out that it's not surprising that some daughters come to emulate their mothers even after living in fear of that outcome. "It's inevitable, because our brains were forming when we were around her," says Reishus in her book "Oh No! I've become my mother". "She was our window into the world."

That explains why a woman's grand ambition of conquering the power of repetition comes crashing when her child asks for an expensive toy and she hears herself saying, "Money doesn't grow on trees, you know." Realising that the brain has little control over the tongue brings on a wry sense of deja vu. But that's nothing compared to the mortification felt upon hearing your partner say, "Yes mom," after one of these phrases is directed his way.

If you're worried about starting to sound like your mother, try to zip your lips before phrases like these pop out:

• Don't run with those scissors!
• If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up big and strong.
• There are millions of children in the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.

Habits hinting that you may be morphing into your mom include:

• Finding pants with elasticised waists comfortable and wearing them to work.
• Talking to total strangers about anything that comes to mind in public places such as in the queues at shops and on planes
• Trying on clothes over your own clothes in the aisles at stores with no shame or embarrassment.
• Carrying a portable fan year-round and ignoring your family's pleas not to use it in public.

Sue Morris from NetFlorist is not immune to moments of mother-morphosis herself. "When I hear myself saying 'You know what 'thought' did, he planted a feather and thought a chicken would grow,' to my kids, alarm bells go off in my head! I never understood what it meant as a child, so I have no idea why I use it on my kids. Even though I'm probably fighting against a supposed genetic inevitability, I do try to break out of the 'mother-mould'."

Deborah Kolka, writer for online publication, Society, has some practical tips on how to avoid becoming your mother, that will either hit the nail on the head, or at least get you thinking about the mom-like habits you want to banish from your life:

• When berating your child, never include gruesome accounts of how painful giving birth to them was.
• Never accept as a gift, or create for yourself, a handmade item that disguises toilet paper.
• If you can no longer tell what color your refrigerator is thanks to all the magnetic clips, notepads and picture frames stuck to it, remove at least half of the clutter.

But just as much as we can blame our moms for passing their craziness on to us, we have to acknowledge the good things they taught us, too. As we become mothers ourselves we may feel more empathy when we come to realize that many of those phrases and quirky habits were an expression of our moms' concern and love for us.

Mother's Day provides a great opportunity to celebrate our moms, warts and all – especially knowing that you're probably more like her than you realise. Pick out a special gift or bunch of flowers for mom on www.netflorist.co.za and NetFlorist will deliver it to her doorstep, along with a card telling her how much she means to you.